How do I Live
How do I, For you. =) My last shot. They say the process is more important than the end result. Like Superstar, only one person gets the recording contract, there are no consolation prizes, but they learn something about this experience. =) I know I have been a very spoilt brat, and something happened recently kind of jolted me and gave me a calling. I’m starting to feel very positive about all these. Sometimes, people don’t learn until they have a setback. ***** That reminds me of something I’ve read.
Get through one night without you?
If I had to live without you,
What kind of life would that be?
Oh, I need….
I need you in my arms, need you to hold,
You’re my world, my heart, my soul,
If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything good in my life,
And tell me now
How do I live without you?
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go,
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?
Without you,
There’d be no sun in my sky,
There would be no love in my life,
There’d be no world left for me.
And I,
Baby I don’t know what I would do,
I’d be lost if I lost you,
If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything good in my life,
And tell me now,
How do I live without you?
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go,
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?
Please tell me baby,
How do I go on?
If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything,
I need you with me,
Baby don’t you know that you’re everything,
Good in my life?
And tell me now,
How do I live without you,
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go,
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?
How do I live without you?
How do I live without you baby?
- Leann Rimes (How do I Live)
In one of her blog posts, she wrote about some tricks a paramedic taught her about breaking the sad news to family members when the deceased was obviously dead.
"One of the tricks of trade a paramedic once taught me on breaking the news (especially when the person is obviously dead but the relatives just hope maybe you’ll do a raise Lazarus miracle) is to drop hints slowly. The first of the hints start when you arrive at the body side and u see a flat line on your asystole but commence cpr anyway… this is where you go "I’m sorry, your dad/mum/ whoever has no pulse.. we are trying our best." It is also a good time to observe the reactions of family members. Calmer ones are of course easier to handle. It also gives you some time to think about what to say to those who start wailing and go hysterical. The last thing you want is a DOA on hand and have another patient to convey."
Breaking the news slowly is indeed a slightly better way than just to tell the family members "your dad/mum/whoever is dead, there’s nothing we can do." straightaway, even when he or she is already deceased before you provided aid.
I was told that in our case, those aren’t hints. I’m glad they aren’t, and do let me have a last shot at it. =)
*****
Yesterday I went out with my JC erhu group girls for a KTV and crapping session. Halfway through, I got very affected by a certain truth, I literally croaked when I sang. Tears welled up, and I just couldn’t concentrate on singing. All I did was to keep looking at my mobile, hoping to receive some text messages.
It kind of made me regret that I dragged on, hoping to give myself some time to lull over it, when I already had the intention to accept things just as they were.
It’s true, I don’t know how to show my care and concern, perhaps 14 months is nothing compared to one, but still, I’d like to try.
Pisceans are the group of people who will shower care and concern whenever they feel that the person is worth their time and effort. Not saying that they are doing this out to gain anything, but when they think it’s worth it, they’ll do anything. =) You don’t know the power of a Piscean. =)
Anyhow, I’ve digressed. I sang a few songs, and I think I kind of hogged the mic towards the front part of the KTV session and the last part. There was one song by Jolin Tsai which I sang, that Judy, one of the blur sotongs, told the other girl holding the mic to "turn off the analog". I consider that a compliment, that she didn’t know I was the one singing instead of the original singer. Heh.
Some of them have very sweet voices, like Judy, Weeyin, and it was the first time I heard them sing! They kept saying that my voice doesn’t suit me -.-" because it’s sounds too sweet for me. I consider this a criticism. -.-" Hehe.
I kind of expected them to ask why I didn’t join Superstar, to which I reply, "I don’t have the qualifications lah!" Qualifications in this sense is not about academic wise, but about the star quality and whatnot.
But PartyWorld does have a competition, and the entrance fee is $20 [solo/group]. It’ll be fun to join, anyone? =P
Maybe I’ll get through one round, and then get kick out thereafter. Hehe.
*****
They went to ArtFriends [where SR is working at] later, and we got to see how some things can be priced so dearly when they are just a sheet of embossed plastic. It’s weird, but I kept thinking of gift ideas for that particular someone. It has become quite a innate thing, perhaps? =)
Walked around at Kinokuniya, and saw the JK Rowling’s Harry Potter and the half blood prince book. Those fanatics are really insane! They can order the books so many weeks in advance, and then rush to buy it when it first launched. What’s the hurry?! Wait one year and the price drops to $17. Heh.
The book is priced at $45 plus, and I thought the black hardcover looks nicer. I find the blue cover too kiddy. Glad to know you had the same thoughts as me. =)
I’m not a person who reads, but I’m willing to read that thick book! =) Heh.
*****
I suggested to go for some drinks at Acid Bar, but some of the girls had financial constraints [still waiting for employment] and such, and we ended up at Orange Julius. SR and I didn’t order any drinks, because she was fine with the idea of having some drinks, since it was a long time since she last had some.
At 11pm, we bade farewell to the rest of the girls, and SR and I walked to Acid Bar. Surprisingly, it didn’t have so much people as compared to the last time I went, and mind you, it’s a weekend!
SR saw Fiona Xie at the bar counter having drinks with a guy wearing green and white stripes shirt. Interestingly, no one else was sitting next to them! And at one time when Fiona [Wah, like I know her very well] walked out of the bar, she bumped into me when she came back. Close brush with an actress? Hehe.
She kept portraying herself as someone who’s very conservative in thinking and traditional in her behaviour, but she really comes across as someone who’s rather wild and parties. No offence.
Anyhow, SR got to know the whole long story, and I knew something from her as well. =)
Ordered Lychee Martini [wonder who could get drunk over such stuffs?] and Blue Lagoon. I think I have yet to reach the stage where I’ll get tipsy and have blood gush to my cheeks. Spent $70-$80 for the whole day, hope I don’t get addicted to drinking at pubs. Heh. It’s too expensive for someone as poor as me. But I’m suspecting that I could hold my "liquor" well [for a beginner] as my Mum had fed me with "Milo & Martel cocktail" when I was younger, to improve my asthma. I wonder what my limit is? Definitely not Lychee Martini, I guess. =)
"The lychee should be the one to intoxicate a person, because it has been soaked for eternity."
*****
Didn’t sleep for the whole of yesterday night, and somehow created a disaster in the kitchen. It’s funny how things turn out when you least expect it. =)
*****
For something totally unrelated, the other day I overheard 2 female commuters talking about blood type. Specially, which blood types of parents will produce offsprings of which blood type.
They claimed that parents with type A and B would never give birth to a "O" type child. My Biology may be lousy, but that was my strongest topic! Type A can be defined by AA or AO. Similarly, B can be defined as BB or BO.
So when you cross them, you’ll get AO, AB, BO, OO. For AB and O blood types, they are only restricted to AB and OO respectively. Whereas A and B is more diversed!
That explains why my family members are all B types, and I’m an O, a universal donor. Hehe.
*****
On another totally unrelated issue, I think I’m the kind who’s easily excited. I’ll satisfy easily with food, and new things seem to surprise me all the time! I saw the packets of tissue paper my mum bought, and I got so surprised over it.
They made spoofs of movie titles on their tissue papers, and some of them were like, "Mouse Park", "A Frog’s Life" and etc. The design totally resembles the actual movie posters! I was gonna include some photos here, but I’m too lazy to snap any, so I’ll leave the appearance of those tissue packets to your imagination.
How could anyone be so self-righteous when you’ve done something that’s ethically wrong [when you knew for sure that I still feel the same]? It might be logically sane, and acceptable, but there’s no cause for self-righteousness.
Harbouring thoughts of assasination is a criminal "behaviour", and it is still a wrong to slash a person after he has died [not caused by you], though you would not be beheaded, but it’s still morally and ethically wrong, do you get me?
