Journey to the East
Unless I have valid reasons, I won’t really travel to the east. Though Singapore is a pretty small island, I find it tiring to travel to the east just "for fun". Despite having a few friends living in the east, travelling there just gives me the shudders. Last Thursday I attended a piano concert [courtesy of Regina!] by a very talented guy whose name was Yoka No [or something]. He delivered his music with his heart and soul, despite not being able to see with his eyes. The free concert was held at Singapore Soka Association [at Tampines], which I think is a branch of Buddhism. Since young, I’ve always wanted to learn how to play the piano, and when I told this "wish" to my friend [who learnt piano for more than a decade], she told me that people can still learn even at the age of 30 or so. I wished I had the innate musical talent to learn how to play musical instruments, since interest alone is pretty hard unless you work on it diligently. Saw Inez’s boyfriend for the first time on Thursday. They look like such a cute couple, but then again, my cuteness somehow surpasses theirs! =x I still can imagine how she threw me that "cheeky" look when she saw me… Haha. But it’s not what you think it is. ***** Attended Yuhui’s maternal grandmother’s wake at Kallang on Friday. I have this tendency to be pretty reserved at wakes because I didn’t think fooling around was appropriate at such a timing. Then again, it might lighten the mood and tension a little in some ways. It feels very queasy when someone you know or have seen before, passes on. Despite only visiting Yuhui’s grandma with her once, I feel a tinge of forlorn to know that someone I’ve seen before is gone now. Mortality is part and parcel of life, yet I can’t help but feel dejected at the thought of the fragility and shortness of life. That’s precisely why life is precious. To those who have a long way to go, please value life, it is something so miraculously wonderful! =) I’m that emotional when it comes to letting go. Once I even cried over the demise of my lecturer’s precious dog, which I’ve never seen before. It was as if I could feel the way she felt, despite seeing her put on a brave front and behaving as though everything was alright. ***** Anyway, Yuhui was jokingly asking her mother to take me as her god-daughter since the latter found me so likeable she started carressing me [on my arms] repeatedly. She kept saying I was nice to touch and so fair, and becoming prettier [*blush*]. Quite interesting that out of all the girls [in the clique], her mum seem to like me best. Before we went off, she held on to me, and asked me to call Yuhui up to chat, so that she [Yuhui's mum] could talk to me on the phone. O.o She’s the 4th person this week to comment that I am fair. I have no idea why I’m becoming fairer, maybe I’m getting impartial? Haha, what a silly pun. =P ***** Then on Saturday, [my ex-colleagues and] I went to Yvonne’s 21st birthday party at the Safra Resort in Tanah Merah. Considering that this girl lives so near me, and that she is someone who hates travelling the distance, that choice must be one of the last she would pick. Saw her "celebrity" boyfriend Zaizai for the first time, and finally we could put a face to the sweet character we’ve heard about so far. =) Her dad’s another sweet guy, who made her a gigantic key using wood. It looked so nice, that I swear I would have thought it was professionally made! We [Zane, Joleen and I] gave her a set of 5 nail polish from Anna Sui, whereas Julie decided to buy her own present from Little Match Girl. Hope she likes the present we got for her! =D Her party was kind of tame, since many of her friends couldn’t really make it, and some just came at odd timings. Cake cutting was at 10pm, and too bad we didn’t get a chance to see all her presents! ***** Colleagues are starting to take their compliance leave one after another, and thus, for work process wise, I’m finding it a little unbearable. Just had a very bad experience today, due to an oversight. It’s hard to put my finger to it, but let’s just say that the mistake didn’t begin from me, but somehow I was too used to doing the same things over and over again that my assumptions were wrong this time round. Sent an email to a company who wasn’t supposed to know about an event, as per my colleague’s instructions. Towards the later part of the day, we found out that the colleague [who went on Compliance Leave] had unique emails to send out to different companies! My bad, because all the while I have been helping another colleague to send emails of similar nature, out to the companies directly! And he always use the same format for ALL companies! For those who caught nothing to what I’m saying, just think of it as such that I got involved and had a part to play in a mistake that didn’t begin with me.
Last Saturday was an unbearable night that led me to feel so lost and running about in circles. I have to find the strength to carry on independently. Now that I have this phobia that I can’t get rid of, I don’t know what I can do to alleviate anything.
I do feel misunderstood, but I can’t simply cannot blame others for that misunderstanding, despite knowing the fact that I didn’t cause it to arise.
Have to really take some time to lull and think things through. I should prioritise the important stuffs so that I can solve things one by one. Give me the strength to carry on, I do not want to fall once again.
