Last Day
Wednesday was my last day of employment as a procurement officer at Citibank. Many people have asked me what’s there to purchase at a bank, but thing is, there are more things to procure than your average big company. Working at an MNC for [almost] a year adds credit to one’s resume. However, I didn’t really feel that it was my cup of tea, hence the staying on was because of my procrastination to look for another job, as well as the desire to "beautify" my resume. Even though I’ve verbally agreed to extend my contract for another year, I decided to leave before the procure-to-pay system comes out, for I’ll be required to do both admin and buyer’s work. When I tendered my resignation, my manager told me that they had intended to give me a bonus at the end of my contract [end January 2006], as well as a pay increment for the new contract year. But still, it’s too late when I’ve already made up my mind. At work, I’m just like a duck in water, on the surface, I seem so calm and cool, and underwater, I have my feet flapping away to move about and to keep myself afloat. To them, I’m an efficient and abled worker, yet no one really knows how much I struggled through in the job to keep my efficiency. Handling stress is part and parcel of life, and with stress, comes competition and improvement. However, self-inflicted stress often wear me out so much so that I’d feel useless and such. I am competent, just that I seriously have to find a way to cope with stress, and not make matters worse by expecting too much of myself. ***** I had 4 days to teach the new girl taking over me. I must say she’s a fast learner, either that, or I’m a good teacher, or both. =P Yet she feels the stress already, because of expectations from the department to be performing at my standards or better. =P Got along quite well with her, and like me, she’s the type who can click quite well with people of the same level, but find it a barrier when it comes to mixing with colleagues of managerial positions. It is impossible to tie up all the loose ends, the most I could do, was to ensure a smooth transition. Yet I felt restricted, I never finished teaching her everything. Half the time I was doing my tasks and she was learning by watching me. Of course there were times where she sat in front of the computer under my supervision to complete certain tasks. And I’m seriously impressed by her ability to learn fast. At the same time I feel for her, because it’s a lowly-paid and highly-demanding job. ***** Was requesting for my referral letter from them since day one of my notice period. My hiring manager agreed readily, however, he took a really long time to start writing. I could understand, since he is kept busy all the while. So another colleague suggested I pen something, so that he could edit from there and sign. I did, and he had 2 weeks plus to edit my letter and endorse it. But he only printed the letter out at the last minute [of my last day] and then inform me that he would need to get my boss’ signature after all. -.-" They couldn’t print my letter on a letterhead, and couldn’t include the boss’ designation on the letter. By right they can’t even write for me, since I’m not under the direct employment of Citibank [I'm under Kelly Services' employment], so the letter is more of a personal referral out of goodwill. =/ I was quite disappointed, for what’s the use of a referral letter if there’s no letterhead, no designation? It equates to "no credibility"! And the most annoying thing was, my actual last day is 9th December. But it was written in the letter I was working under them from January till November! True, my last working day [after clearing 7 days of annual leave at the end] is 30th November, but I’m still considered employed under them till December right? Sigh. ***** It takes two hands to clap to keep friendships. What can one do, when a good friend of yours doesn’t put in the effort to initiate contact? We’re just quite used to her being uncontactable, after knowing her for a decade. Being busy is just an excuse, as there are always ways to re-schedule and to compromise, no? I’ve always believed that if one has the heart to catch up with friends, there’s always a way even if that person’s schedule is packed to the max. ***** Natalie Imbruglia - Why
I watch my moon and blue sun slip away
Everybody’s asking questions
Everybody’s wanting more
Every time I catch myself, I fall
And it’s why you ask me
And it’s why I don’t know
And I try to pull myself togehter
I don’t want to go home
The little girl has lost her way today
The tables turning on the game she plays
Everybody’s asking questions
Everybody’s wanting more
Every time I catch myself, I fall
And it’s why you ask me
And it’s why I don’t know
And I try to pull myself together
I don’t want to go home
Every time I catch myself, I fall
*****
People only realise the value of something when it’s gone. No use denying the facts, yet when you bring everything together, it is so complicated.
5 months. Hurting each other with our indecisiveness. I can’t, or I don’t want to let go? Is my happiness a facade? Are you seeing me from just the top of the pond, how I’m gliding gracefully like a duck? Time to look beneath the water and know how hard I’m flapping my webbed feet. =)
I’m a selfish bitch, who refuses to be selfish enough to think for myself.
