Transient Thoughts
Spirits have been downcast lately. A lot of things happened these few days, and it’s too much for me to handle. Sometimes people say things which mean another thing to the recipients, and misunderstandings arise when people don’t clarify.
But how would you be able to clarify when you aren’t aware of the presence of a misunderstanding?
It is ironic, I’m someone who treasures friendship a lot. Yet many a times, I’m the main culprit who ruins friendships. It’s against my wishes to say certain things, but what’s said cannot be undone.
Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything at all, but by being frank about my own feelings, would affect people adversely, then maybe I should shut my trap right from the start?
I appreciate help and everything, I never deny help from friends, but sometimes, it’s up to myself what I really want, and decide. Many years ago, I was being ostracised by a click because of my "attitude problem" (I was 14 back then, by the way), but oddly, at least half from that group were fine to still befriend me, but had to do so under the table. Peer pressure, I’d say. Who’d want to be ostracised by standing up for a friend?
I’m not trying to dig out some old stuffs that happened a decade ago, but just that certain things look like they are repeating in a pattern.
Today things are OK, but it always never fail to make me realise how humans always seek for recognition. Humans always do things and be confident about it, when it’s in the majority. You may recognise a particular behaviour as a negative trait, and when someone else agrees with you, you are more determined that it’s only true.
True, these may just be opinions, but having an opinion is one thing. Enforcing them is another. You may have your beliefs, but others have theirs too. And even so, what I merely did was to share with the other person how his/her behaviour may reflect, I wasn’t even trying to sow discord.
Was it fair to me? I may have been harsh in my delivery of my feelings, but what I said was how I felt, albeit a little late.
I’ve never meant things to be personal, don’t ever take it as my personal attack to you. I was just being upset about the whole unfairness thing.
*****
On another note, why are some people so bent on hurting others? They claim they are not hurting others, yet by alternating between 2 people, these people are hurting 2 people at once.
I’ve had enough. I deserve to be happy. =)
